Time for a long-overdue update, methinks...
First of all, let's rip off the band aid, shall we? Where the HELL have I been?! Well, when I last posted here, my life was busy, but stable. Then, frankly, everything fell apart emotionally, romantically, familial-ly, financially, etc. The only thing that didn't splinter unexpectedly, surprisingly enough, was my health. Normally, I wind up in bed hacking my lungs out or with the black plague whenever my life becomes chaotic -- but why? Generally, I work myself into such a frenzy that I sacrifice proper eating, sleeping, showering (I cringe to admit it, but it's true!), and whatnot that I succumb to whatever germs my delightful students love to share with me. Luckily, for the first time, I managed to avoid illness, but I'll get to that in a moment.
December, in a word, sucked. Sucked! And I don't mean like a vacuum cleaner either. I mean more like Nosferatu. In the span of a month, a loving romantic relationship fell apart (the military and long distance--among other things--claim another one, I'm afraid... but we are still very close friends who talk/commune frequently, so no truly hard feelings), several friendships imploded (one friend tried to slit her wrists and I realized the toxicity of another close friend and broke away from that individual), students fell apart (and a criminal act occurred that caught me off guard, I'm afraid), my parents (my mother being my best friend) moved across the country, my work became less enjoyable (ah, the joys of being *reminded* repeatedly that you are expendable... and kicked in the ass over and over again) and profitable, and the list goes on.
And then the season hit me like a ton of bricks. Horrific Holidays from HELL!
Commercial after commercial stabbed me in the heart that I wouldn't be sharing the festive moments with my loved one and family like I'd originally planned. And person after well-meaning-but-hateful person asked me why I was alone for the holidays and why I hadn't put up my Goddamn fake tree. I strove to rise above the bitterness, but I secretly plotted to spend all of 2013 in a holiday-less state and then boycott all holidays for at least 365 days! I mourned. I grieved. I hurt. I sank. And I gave myself until January 1 to wallow and focus on my inward pains and stressors... and then I kicked myself in the ass and dusted off my hands. Done! No more!
With a hug and kiss [to myself], I embarked on a new relationship -- and I don't mean the strange-in-limbo-not-dating-but-not-NOT-dating relationship I'm bewildered to find myself in with an ex-boyfriend who turned into a most respected, needed, and beloved friend during the Horrific Holidays from Hell. No, I mean, I'm involved in a hopefully long term and deliciously committed and rewarding relationship with RUNNING.
Yes, this girl (and I *am* pointing at myself with both thumbs), who has for the last 30.5 years been most decidedly NOT a runner is now (and now I pop my collar with pride) an official runner. As with any new relationship, especially so soon on the heels of a failed relationship, I hesitated to share my committed running status to the world. We've slowly become Facebook-official, though I began with only my closest fitness buddies and family and friends, just in case. Just in case I would, as I have with so many things, give up... fail... quit... break up... forget... find something better/shinier... and just stop.
But I haven't! I downloaded the C25K app on my phone, bought official (and comfy!) running shoes, and buckled down starting the first week of the year. After a shaky start that was a little too successful -- and resulted in keenly painful shin splints !!! -- I'm now emphatically and triumphantly several pounds down, several inches smaller, and almost through Week 5.
Week 5! Eek! If any of you have conquered the C25K program (which is absolutely fabulous, btw, but my reviews shall be forthcoming in further posts, methinks), then you know how nerve-wracking Week 5 is. Or, rather, Day 3 of Week 5... which, after 4.75 weeks worth of smaller run-walk intervals, one suddenly has to *bam!* run 20 minutes without stopping!
On the interwebs, the mystery "They" say that repeating days/weeks as needed is the way to go and I shouldn't treat any repeated days as failures. And yet, I haven't had to repeat any days thus far. In fact, I've gone far and beyond each weekly workout. I've conquered each run interval task with flying colors. But Week 5 Day 3 is like D-Day, which is tentatively scheduled for Wednesday.
I bite my nails. But I also have come incredibly far in just a few months time. I've dropped over 30 pounds in 365 days, and 15 in just a couple months alone. I rediscovered and am currently wearing jeans and clothing that I haven't been able to squeeze past my hips since college. (AND some of it is too big too!) I look to my successes, kiss the image of myself in the mirror rather than curse it, grin each time I move into a run -- me, a runner!!! And still, 20 minutes straight... It seems like quite the jump from today's run, which had me jump from 5-minute runs into 8-minute runs.
20 minutes... Day 3 of Week 5... and Valentine's Freaking Day...
I'll post later in the week. For now, to be continued!
Onwards!
~E
No comments:
Post a Comment